a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize
