on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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