do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
