I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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