I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
