I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
even my farts smell like vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
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