i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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