you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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