so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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