But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
