Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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