wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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