So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worst night to have a conscience
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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