am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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