Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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