I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
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