I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
