Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
