capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize