Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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