I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
You can't just leave with hair like that
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
