Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
