I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I skipped work to stalk him.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
