I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
