why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Randomize
