Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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