Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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