So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
