Whoa Z and x make the same sound
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
