First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
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