did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
