I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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