My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
