I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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