it was like his penis was on wheels.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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