i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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