Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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