holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
A bitchslap is in order.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
