Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
this boner is exhausting
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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