You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
We were destined to go to rehab together
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
