nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
