The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
