need another drink. this is the easiest way
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
