He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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