Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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