Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
