We're facebook friends in real life
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
