some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
