I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize