Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
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