Got a toothbrush?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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