I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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