Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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