Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
