All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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