dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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