Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
