What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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