New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
