You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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