you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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