It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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