okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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