Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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