That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
