So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
