it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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