I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
