hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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